The scar of October 1st

Saturday, 1st October
Woke up really grateful for mum and her grace to date. It was her birthday and she turned 56. She celebrates the same day as Nigeria’s National Independence. 
I rang her just about 7.13am when I woke, feeling bad that I had not called her earlier like the family old tradition, but it was ok. 

Happy birthday mummy. I sang to her and she sang along. I wished her a lovely day and year ahead. I asked what she was up to and she said she was in church with some other women supporting in church activities. 

So I told her to treat herself to her fave, either red wine and roasted chicken or some bottles of Guinness and some grilled fish. 

She said “sure”

A text came through on the family group whatsapp chat 2 hrs later. 

“Mama isn’t speaking and has been rushed to the hospital. This was from mum to me and my siblings”. 

I just knew it. 

I sat on my massage chair and prayed for her, asking and praying that nothing happens to her. Not now, not today, just anyday if God had called her but not today. 

I see my sister’s missed calls…

I knew it

I knew she was gone  

“Sis, have you spoken to mum?Mama passed”…

Silence 

Numb

Devastation 

My nan passed before she got to hospital, on her daughter’s 56th birthday. She was in her mid 80s. As painful as loss is, she lived a fulfilled life. 

My mum was clearly incoherent and in shock when I rang her but what else was to be expected at that time. 

“Mum, it’s happened and I am sorry. I am even more sorry, it happened today. There had to be some significant symbol to this. I love you and we are all here and are going to be forever here for you”!

I hang up. I am weak, raw, numb, confused. I cry myself to sleep. Until my phone rings, Tom had just seen the messages. He tells me we need to be strong for her. Yes I agreed. 

I am listening to Coldplay’s Paradise, thinking and praying for her soul to be elevated to her creator. 

I haven’t seen my nan in 3 or 4 years but she always sends me little videos praying for me and wishing me well and I speak to her on the phone quite a bit. I loved her as a grandma and I wish I spent more time with her generally but that’s what life teaches us. 

I hoped I would see her when I travelled home later this month. 

********

It’s days like this, life just fucking reeks!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s